Tuesday, June 05, 2007

I know, I know

I didn't get the pics up yet, but I will soon, I promise. It was one of those days when I was busy doing other things in lab, and time just slipped past.

Anyway, I did spend some of my lunch break looking up birthing methods (Bradley, lamaze, hypnobirthing, etc). My doctor had asked me at my last visit if I had started thinking about it yet, and I honestly had to answer no. Since my next appointment is tomorrow morning at 8:30 AM, I figured I'd better at least look some stuff up.

First, let me say that I realistically expected to get an epidural. I don't like needles, and I don't like medication, but I am a total wuss with zero pain tolerance. My mom had all five of us natural. I didn't see that happening.

And then I started looking stuff up. Oh. My. God. I am totally and completely lost.

I'm not lost in the sense that I don't understand. I think I have a fairly good understanding of what each type of childbirth involves. I knew things like water birthing or home birth were too far out for me, but I really tried to have an open mind about everything else.

Really, what I was hoping for was some sort of middle-of-the-road. You do as much as you can by yourself, you learn maybe some relaxation techniques to help along the way, and then you get the epidural when it's too much.

What I learned is that you are either all natural or all medical. After I looked at some official-looking websites, I checked out some of the message boards on babycenter.com. It's where I've gotten a lot of my general info, so I figured there would be a pretty good mix of women with mixed experiences.

Not so much. It was almost an advertisement for hypnobirthing/hypnobabies. Anything else was not kindly looked upon. And the horror stories about epidurals--ugh!

I know a girl who did hypnobirthing (it's basically putting yourself into a state of semi-hypnosis to get through the pain). I'm going to ask her about it. But, she's already given me the lecture on how cloth diapers are the only acceptable type, so I'm pretty sure what she'll say about hypnobirthing.

I don't know--I liked yoga, and I'm looking to take a prenatal yoga class, but hypnobirthing? Really? It just seems a little out there to me. I guess the medical/analytical side of me expected things to be a little more high tech. Then again, I haven't done an OB rotation yet, so I have no idea what actually happens during childbirth (yes, I know what happens physiologically, but not emotionally).

I am just feeling a bit freaked right now. I'm going to bring it up tomorrow at my appointment, and hopefully my doctor can talk me down. I still have a few months to go, so no need to rush. Still--why does this whole pregnancy thing keep getting weirder and weirder?

I just want to have a non-traumatic pregnancy and delivery and meet my daughter already. Why does it have to be so complex?

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