Thursday, July 26, 2007

It's official

Well, the house is officially on the market. The listing is on, although the pictures aren't up just yet. It's sort of bizarre. I'm sad that we're selling our little house, excited because we're in our new house, nervous because I know the real estate market sucks and it'll take a while to sell (there are 5 nearly identical houses for sale on just our two streets in the neighborhood. Ours is the cheapest, as planned, but still.), and just generally exhausted from all the prep. There are a few final fix-ups to do still, but it's nearly there.

Last night I came home, took a quick nap (the great thing about 15 year old couches is that they are perfectly formed for naps), and then set up the computer desk at the new house. We had planned to go over to the old house last night, but between Tim working late and just general burnout, we thought actually starting to move in to the new house might be better.

I set up the computer (miraculously, it worked right away. Hurray!). That's nice--it's been frustrating to not have any internet at home. It also let me check my glucose results from yesterday's 3 hour oral glucose tolerance test. The fellow in the lab had tried checking for me before I left, but the results weren't up yet, so she showed me how to check them at home. Don't tell the HIPAA police, ok? Anyway, my results were all under the cutoff numbers. My fasting and three hour numbers were way under the cutoff (my three hour number was 76, the cutoff was 140). My one and two hours were within about 10 of the cutoff, although technically under. The nurse hasn't called me yet to "officially" give me the results. I don't know if she'll want me to change things or not, but I might anyway. I actually had a big, healthy salad for lunch just to help my body get back on the right track. The fellow suggested asking for the packet of info they give to gestational diabetics, even if the nurse says I technically don't have it, so I can try to follow the guidelines anyway.

I'm relieved that (for now, anyway) I don't appear to have gestational diabetes. Still, when we have the next baby many, many moons from now, I think I'll make sure to be better about stress and taking care of myself. I think not moving/selling a house during pregnancy would be a good start.

I've avoided talking to Dr. B so far today--I passed him briefly on my way to the elevator during lunch, but that's been it. Earlier this week, I told him I'd have an experiment done for him by tomorrow. Since the cells died and I don't have enough old sample in the freezer, that is actually not going to be the case. He should have it by next Wednesday, which isn't the end of the world, but it won't be in time for my committee meeting.

I'm feeling a lot of guilt about how much I've been able to get done in lab recently. I've gotten some stuff accomplished, but not as much as I wanted. Granted, some of it has been out of my control--broken incubators, broken developers, fungal and bacterial infections (ok, the bacteria could've been me). A lot of it, though, is that I've drawn a line between my personal and professional lives, and I've been unwilling to budge. Yes, I've been in evenings and weekends, but I also have taken a day or two off in the last month for house stuff. And even when I'm here, it doesn't mean I'm not mentally preoccupied with the pregnancy, or the house stuff, or life in general. I could have run a few more gels or squeezed out another few experiments. Would it have drastically changed the data I am presenting for my meeting on Monday? Not likely. But at least I personally would've felt like I made more of an effort.

It's quite the turnaround from what I felt like even six or eight months ago. I felt like there was no way I could say no to the lab. I had to make it my first priority. Now, I think I've swung a little too far in the other direction. I've got to come back to the middle where I'm productive and committed to the lab as much as possible without giving up my personal life. Honestly, though, my results from the two extremes of behavior have been pretty similar. Maybe it doesn't matter so much after all. Too much time in lab makes me burnt out and frazzled, leading to more mental goofs. But too much time doing non-lab stuff makes me lose the little motivation I have to get results.

It's a weird trade-off, but I'm working on balance. Easy to say, since I'm sure as soon as the baby comes, everything else will take a back seat.

Anyway, enough randomness for one day. I've got to make my power point presentation for my meeting Monday, and I probably shouldn't wait until Sunday night to do it.

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