Friday, October 12, 2007

No baby

That's how I answer the phone now--no baby. I've regressed, contraction-wise, to the point where I went back into work today (I stayed home yesterday, thinking that might be the day). Even now, I'm thinking I may go into work next week if things are still the same.

I think I might just stop gathering information too. I've been checking a lot of websites and message boards about what people's stats were (dilated/effaced/etc) before they went into labor, how long from when they were first at a certain number until they delivered, etc. It just varies too much. Some people weren't dilated or effaced at all before they went into labor, and some were even more dilated/effaced than me and had to wait a while.

I guess I just need to be patient. If I make it until my doctor's appointment on Wednesday, I'll ask her what she thinks. Maybe she'll break my water. Maybe she'll want to wait. I don't know.

I know ultimately the baby will come when she's ready, even if I'm ready now (and have been for weeks.) I did have a symbolic gesture yesterday--I had finished the thank you notes, but I hadn't sealed them, on the chance I'd go into labor soon and have a baby picture to send out with the notes. Last night, I just decided to stop waiting. I sealed them up and mailed them out this morning. No baby picture included, but now at least I'm not jinxing myself by having things waiting on the baby.

I'm not so good with this patience stuff. But, at least work seems to be really good about things--quite a change. My boss came by around lunch time and was really pleasant about it, and he told me he hoped he wouldn't see me Monday. And the girls at work have been super supportive this whole time, which has been great.

I still don't know what I want to do about maternity leave. I don't do well sitting at home by myself--I get so bored--but I don't want to start a ton of things at work either. My mom came up yesterday afternoon. It was fun--we chatted, she made dinner (always a treat!), and we just hung out. Of course, when she went to leave at 8:30, her car wouldn't start. It was pouring, and Tim, my mom, and I are trying to jump her car. We couldn't get it started, so we called my dad, who called AAA. My dad came up to get her, and the AAA guy got the car jumped (figures), so they were both able to drive home about 9:30 or so. Always an adventure with us.

I guess I'm just going to play it by ear at this point. The contractions are back to the Braxton-Hicks, and even the constant pressure I was having yesterday has disappeared. I feel just about the same as I did before my appointment Wednesday. So, my official verdict on the membrane stripping: it didn't work for me. But, it wasn't horrible either, so at least we tried.

I'm just going to wait it out this weekend, but I'll post here if things look like they are moving ahead. Till then, I'm just trying to be patient.

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