Yep, still here. No baby. It's getting harder and harder to wait. I almost wish that I wasn't really dilated/effaced at all--it's sort of like false hope. I've been checking all these message boards and talking to women who recently had kids, and each person's experience varied so widely that it is difficult to compare my situation with theirs.
I've been grabbing onto anything as hope that labor will start soon:
-my face broke out (so maybe my hormones are changing)
-I had a crazy huge appetite this weekend (so maybe I'm fueling my body for labor)
-and then today I have no appetite (so maybe my body's getting ready)
-Gross alert: I've gone from having one stool every 3-4 days to 4-5 stools a day (an old wive's tale that your body cleanses itself before birth)
-I finished cleaning and setting up the nursery, with help (so maybe I'm nesting, even though I didn't get the burst of energy with it).
Or, it could just be that my body's exhausted, and I'm tired of having a messy house. Those are more likely.
But really, it's amazing how desperately I look for any sign things will happen soon. I'm almost 39 weeks by our original date. It feels like forever, but still, all the statistics I've seen are that first babies are much more likely to come after their due date than before. I took all of my dilated/effaced info to mean I'd move faster than most. But here I am, nearly three weeks from first hearing I was partially dilated/effaced, and still no baby.
I'm trying to be as patient as possible. I know she'll come out when she's ready. But it makes it nearly impossible to plan things. Take lab, for instance. My boss was actually pretty non-confrontational last week about my experiments, but I know that won't last forever. I won't have as much done as I had hoped before I go on leave, which is disappointing, but I will finish the last of the small experiments before this weekend hopefully. I just underestimated how feeling tired and crappy all the time would affect my lab work. It's nearly impossible to concentrate.
I'm actually debating about making this Friday my last day at work, baby or not. It's getting tough for me to walk from my parking garage into work. It's hard sitting at my desk or bench in the uncomfortable chairs (and it makes my feet swell like crazy). I'm tired, and I'd be more alert with a mid-day nap, but there's nowhere to do that. I'm just not being as productive as I could be, so I might as well be home.
On the other hand, starting leave early means I get less time home once the baby comes. And while I'm at home, I'll just be antsy. I still have a few thank yous to write from the shower (I was hoping I'd have a baby picture to mail with the thank yous, but that doesn't seem to be the case). So thank yous would keep me busy for a day or so. After that, I'd probably just pace around the house, waiting for the baby. But at least I could rest when I need to. Or sit in the air conditioning, which we thankfully turned on late last week (it's supposed to be 87 and humid today. In October. In Cleveland. What is going on?)
I'm still on the fence about work. Of course, if the baby would just show up before Friday, then I wouldn't have to make a decision. However, something tells me I might be waiting for a while if I wait for the baby to decide.
Anyway, life is good otherwise. I've got some pictures of the nursery I'll load maybe tonight or tomorrow. I'm trying to get copies of the shower pictures too (I am usually the photographer, but since I was otherwise occupied, I'm relying on other people's pictures for this one). I might do some final (hopefully) grocery shopping tonight to make sure we're well stocked. But otherwise, I'll just be waiting.
I've got my next appointment Wednesday morning. I'm hoping there's some good news. My doctor is using a later due date (Oct. 21), so I don't think she's as antsy as I am. The different due dates were no biggie for most of the pregnancy--with the exception of the very first ultrasound at six weeks (which is why we have two due dates), every test and ultrasound has put us on Oct. 16, our original date by LMP. So that's what we kept. My doctor said no biggie, they're only 5 days apart. Except now, five days is a long time. So even though I'll be 39 weeks at this appointment by the original date, I'm 38 weeks 3 days by her later date. Because of that, I'm wondering if she'll be less likely to want to do something like strip my membranes to get things working. I'm going to ask anyway, but she may want to wait another week or so.
Honestly, I think I might be crazy in another week if this baby's not here!
But, I guess it's probably a lesson for me. I can't plan everything. And as long as she's safe and healthy, the baby can stay comfortable for as long as she wants. I'm terribly uncomfortable--if you don't have stock in Rolaids or Tylenol, you may want to buy some, considering how much I've been using. I have horrible heartburn (even with water! or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich!), my hips ache terribly, I can't sleep, I pee constantly, and my feet swell so much that I have trouble flexing my ankles. But, as long as the baby's ok, I'll keep putting up with it for a while. I know it's all worth it in the end.
That's it for now. I have this feeling, judging by the Braxton-Hicks contractions (and the lack of any real ones) that it may be some time before little girl makes her debut. Of course, this would be one gut feeling I would be more than happy to be wrong about.