Thursday, March 20, 2008

An Open Letter

Dear Winter:

In case no one has told you, spring officially starts today. So I'd really appreciate it if we didn't have any more snow. Days like yesterday, where it starts out in the upper 40s and then becomes cold and snowy, leaving 2 inches of heavy, slushy snow over everything just in time for rush hour, are not cool. And that forecast we have of about 4 inches of snow overnight tomorrow night? I think that violates some sort of spring no-snow contract. I've had more than my share of snow this year. And what's with the whole "average snowfall" thing? If Cleveland's average snowfall is 60 inches, and we've had above average winters for the last five years, aren't we due for a below average one?

In fact, we had the record-breaking snowfall winter a few years back of over 120 inches of snow. In order to average out to 60 inches, does that mean we get a winter with no snow? I'd be down with that.

I know that school-age kids love these crappy winters with lots of snow, below-zero wind chills, and icy roads because then they get off school. But for those of us that have to drive to work, there are no such things as snow days. And it really gets old needing to drive five miles an hour through unplowed roads. So let's let up, ok?

I'd like some sort of promise that we are not going to get another late April snowstorm. Yes, I still remember 2005 where we got a gigantic snowstorm on the 26th of the month. It took over a year for our trees to recover from all the lost limbs. And it had been in the upper 70's a week earlier on my birthday. So, no more teasing, ok? When spring is here, it's here.

I'd really appreciate it if you'd honor my request. Otherwise, I think I am going to have to flee the snowbelt and move to Florida. And they have bugs the size of your head there. So I'd rather not.

Thanks very much,

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