Monday, May 12, 2008

I don't know what I was expecting, but this wasn't it.

I'm a bit aggravated today, so I apologize in advance for the "tone" of the blog. I just need to vent a little.

First, the house stuff. Yes, we officially own only one house. As has been par for the course, it wasn't without a lot of aggravation at the end. We hadn't heard from our realtor in days, we had signed all of our papers, and the buyers were supposed to have signed theirs. So on Friday, we expected some call or something from our realtor letting us know things were good. Nothing. We tried calling her, and she wasn't available. Her husband didn't even know where she was. As we got more frustrated by the minute, I finally called the title company and asked about it. They said it hadn't transferred yet, but it would. Finally late Friday afternoon the realtor called and said it went through. Massive aggravation, but at least we are done.

Second, Mother's Day. This being my first Mother's Day, I didn't know what to expect. And boy, I was surprised. I was surprised in a good way by how thoughtful family and friends were. I'm not their mom, but I got so many emails/messages wishing me a happy mother's day that I was truly touched. My friend Katie from Alaska even sent me a beautiful basket of flowers! No one has EVER sent me flowers. I was so touched. To have so many people thinking of me was really overwhelming.

Now, the person I expected to wish me a happy mother's day fell a bit short. Tim and I don't exchange gifts--not for Christmas, birthdays, anniversaries, nothing. It originated from several things: first, saving money; next, less stress; third, not making holidays materialistic, and fourth, if you're going to go out the morning of a holiday and buy me the first thing you see, and not even wrap it or take the tags off, I'd rather you didn't buy me anything at all. The problem is that I am very sentimental. I think for weeks about what I want to get a person. A lot of times I make something or do something personal. Tim is the total opposite. He's the king of last minute, and his perfect gift is something like a gift card.

I didn't even get a card for my birthday last month, so I was hoping for something on Mother's day. I didn't expect a gift, really, but I was hoping for something sentimental. Last year I sent him cookies to work to celebrate Father's Day. I thought that was so cute. I put so much thought into that--something that would be delivered, something he could brag about, and something he could enjoy and share with others. It didn't quite work out the way I planned, but it was ok in the end.

Well, my mother's day weekend wasn't quite in the same league. Saturday we were having his parents up to celebrate mother's day with them. After Sophie got up, I went downstairs and cleaned for two hours before he even got out of bed. Then we went shopping for food, and he bought his mom flowers. Then I cooked in the afternoon, finished cleaning, and then his parents came over (about an hour late). I took care of Sophie, gave her a bath, and put her to sleep while they had dessert. His parents stayed until about 10:30 or so, and of course Sophie slept like an angel from 8-10:30. Not ten minutes after they left, she started screaming. It's separation anxiety--she'll calm down when I'm in the room, but as soon as I leave, she screams. This went on nearly constantly until about 2 AM. She finally crashed, and I got some sleep.

Sunday morning I was hoping for some rest. Not so much. Tim went out in the morning to get me a card while I watched Sophie . Yes, it was the morning of Mother's Day, but at least I got a card. Then I got ready, got Sophie ready, and we went to church. Tim went out and got a haircut while I watched Sophie again. We then headed out to Best Buy and Home Depot (a whole different aggravating story), and then we were running late, so we headed down to my parent's house with ingredients for my casserole in tow. I made my dish while everyone socialized. We ate, my mom opened her gift (we all chipped in and got her a spa package), and then I helped my dad move the big entertainment center (the one that had been in our old house) and set all the electronics up. We finished about 10, headed home, I put Sophie to bed, and then I crashed about 11.

So, to recap: no gift. No relaxation. No time to myself. Even his mom got flowers--I got a card. Which, I have to say, is better than no card. Even if he did run out and get in that morning.

I didn't have clear expectations of what I wanted for mother's day. And I do the finances, so I know we have no money for big gifts. But I was hoping for something sentimental--breakfast in bed, an hour to get a bubble bath, maybe even flowers or something small to remind me of my first mother's day. No such luck. I guess part of it is my fault for not saying I wanted something. But should I have to?

I wanted one day to feel special. I've been so overwhelmed lately with baby stuff plus house stuff plus lab--I wanted one day off. But doing everything for our families was actually more stressful than a normal weekend. I wanted to do something--after all, they are our moms--but maybe next year we order pizza.

I was pretty bummed about all of it last night. Tim knows I'm disappointed, but I can't really hold it against him. He's been stressed out lately too. I was just hoping for something sentimental. But I guess this way I don't really have high expectations for future mother's days.

No comments:

Post a Comment