I've been meaning to post for a while, but I haven't been sure of what I want to say. I'm still not sure. I know the traditional blog thing to do is summarize 2008, reflect on my 2008 resolutions, and then make a few resolutions for 2009. I thought about doing that. I've done it in the past. But I just don't feel like it's right for me this year.
2008 was fine overall--lots of drama, but also lots of good times. But I don't feel like I personally grew very much in 2008. I was so focused on getting through all of the drama--selling the old house, personal/family/day care drama, and then switching labs--that I didn't take time to really work on me.
So, when I set out to make my resolutions for 2009, I realized that they looked a lot like the ones I made for 2008. And 2007, 2006, etc...
Instead of just saying that this year will be different, I started thinking about how I can really make it different. And one of those ways is to not make "resolutions," per se. There are things in my life that I can do better. But there are also things in my life that I am doing pretty well. What I need to do is find a balance.
I am an all-or-nothing type person. That drives me to try to reach high standards, but it also sets me up for disappointment when I don't always achieve what I want.
For instance, let's take the perennial favorite "weight loss" resolution. I was all ready to get on here and post my hard-core plan: major diet overhaul, exercising hours every day, etc. What I realized was that the huge, sudden changes never last. I do well for a while, and then I slip up. Instead of acknowledging a temporary slip, my all or nothing sets in--I'm a failure, why do I try, etc.
I know that changes need to happen a little at a time. I've decided to not give up on my weight, but I am approaching it different. Each week, I am setting one small goal. This week was meal planning. Next week, I'll set another goal, but I'll keep meal planning. Over time, hopefully these behaviors will become permanent. And by changing one small thing at a time, I won't get overwhelmed as easily.
There are a few other things in my life that I am working on with small changes. I'm sure I'll tell you all about them in the future. But if you are looking for the yearly resolutions list, sorry to disappoint. I'm hoping this year will be different.